Thought and reflections on Atlanta hate crimes as I return from parental leave…
Coming back after 4 weeks of parental leave on March 22, 2021, I was ready to share that it was great, albeit a different type of work, and happily share some of my favorite pictures. However, the murder of 8 people, including 6 Asian Americans, that took place in Atlanta last Tuesday shook me. Even more shocking was the disappointing response and media coverage that made it clear that there is a more important and pressing topic.
Sadly, mass shootings are too common in the United States (with a second tragic shooting in Boulder 6 days later), but what really hit home was the response from the sheriff who sounded like more like a defense attorney than a police officer as he stated that the shooter was “having a really bad day” and repeating the shooters claim that “it wasn’t racially motivated”. Eight people lost their lives and their families lost loved ones — those are the people who really had a bad day. Domestic terrorists do not get to define their crimes. Having spoken with a lot of Asian friends, family and colleagues, this video from Karen Chee captures how I and many in my community feel.
Personally, it means even more. At dinner this week, I saw my 2.5 year old son speaking fluently and joyfully in Mandarin and English. At what point will he encounter a world where someone will try to shame him for speaking Mandarin? How will this impact his self esteem and what can I do to make him more resilient and ready for that inevitable day? Will he be strong enough to move forward with love and pride in a skill that will help him in the future?
I stared at my 3 month old daughter smiling after finishing her bottle of milk. Will she ever feel safe in a culture steeped in patriarchy that fetishizes Asian women? As she grows up, will she feel like the countless women who shared their collective pain and fears after Sarah Everard’s murder?
Looking inward at my experience as an Asian born and raised in Canada and living most of my adult life in the UK and the US, I realized that my Korean heritage is something I’ve thought I could avoid because “it didn’t matter.” Like many others, I’ve willfully ignored the racism and microaggressions directed towards me because “I wasn’t the target,” and I told myself it didn’t affect me.
But it did. One small way was that I hated having my Korean name on my documents. 원일 which is anglicized as Won-Il. “Won” is easy. “IL” was always difficult. In many fonts, it looks like the roman number II, so it was constantly confusing. I never fill it in, but was always on my drivers license. In NY, it was just the initial W. Interestingly, in Texas they spell it all out. It’s something I haven’t seen in a while, but I’m glad it’s there.
Reflecting as my parental leave ends, I realize I still have a lot to figure out, but to help build a better future for my children, I have to taking an active role. Recognizing that we have a broken the system that humanizes the killer while the families suffer is a first step. Learning about the intersectionality of these crimes, learning about the deep reaching gaslighting of xenophobia and racism, and learning about the legislative and institutional responsibilities and responses to these efforts are all on my growing to-do list as I try to figure out how to make an impact. I’m more than a little lost as I find myself and learn the right vocabulary to communicate and articulate the injustice and figuring out solutions. However, I know I’m not alone in this struggle and I can’t let perfection get in the way of starting the conversation. Please reach out if you want to talk, or need someone to listen. If you think this could help someone, feel free to forward.
If you’d like to support organizations that are looking to make a difference, there are many online. I have made a contribution via the AAPI Community fund
Change requires education and empathy. If you want to learn more:
Read:
- Time: ‘I Will Not Stand Silent.’ 10 Asian Americans Reflect on Racism During the Pandemic and the Need for Equality — June 25, 2020
- Vice: “Asian Americans Are Calling on Allies in Response to a Wave of Violence” –Feb 8, 2021
- Michelle Kim for Medium: On Anti-Asian Hate Crimes: Who Is Our Real Enemy? — Feb 10, 2021
- Stop AAPI Hate: A report on nearly 3,800 reported hate crimes — March 12, 2021
Watch
- PBS: Asian Americans
*warning — these include elder abuse violence*:
- Jan 2021: 91-year-old Chinese man being shoved to the ground in Oakland’s Chinatown
- Jan 2021: Suspect arrested in deadly attack on 84-year-old man San Francisco
- Mar 2021: Elderly Asian Woman Assaulted; Fights Off Attacker In San Francisco. Even more inspirational, Xiao Zhen Xie is donating $1mm in GFM proceeds back to combat racism
